Ability & Time
I've found the ideas that "Disability is part of the reality of living in a body - any body." and similar with a temporal dimension that 'everyone becomes disabled' or experiences varying degrees of disability to be the most helpful for understanding care and redefining disability not as lack but as a more artistic and ingenious way of engaging with the world and shared spaces that are designed only for normative bodies. Put on slightly crude but connective terms, if we age for long enough we'll more-than-likely experience physical and mental changes highly analogical to experiences different groups of disabled people have experienced, and that may be helpful for rethinking stigmas of care tied to aging, or that one has to "earn care" through certain metrics of pain and pleasure highly tied to labor-ability. Leaving room for pain and mourning is potent and I've definitely encountered in my own life, where my grandpa has talked about already ...